22nd September 2011 - 38 weeks

Another delayed post, sorry. Not sure where my time goes at the moment! Certainly have been keeping busy since going on Maternity Leave!

So what's been going on, well we went on the tour of the hospital this week. I'm going to the new Pembury Hospital in Tunbridge Wells. Its very modern and has the feeling of an international airport, rather than a hospital! The wards are all private rooms with ensuite shower or bathrooms, with most of the rooms having views of the local woodland - sounds idyllic. Not sure how much I will be appreciating the views during my stay there!

Night times have been hard lately. It's so painful now trying to sleep. I end up spending too long on each side - just trying to avoid flipping which is an awful feeling. Feels like my pelvis is going to snap. And what with the baby squashing my bladder painfully I rarely feel rested when I get up. Really hope this will all disappear once the baby arrives.

I know I must have sai it a million times but I still can't believe I will have a baby soon - it's going to be so surreal. Today I'm feeling a little more positive about everything, but I must admit I've had some bad days - feeling quite negative and very very emotional. I hate to put it all down to pregnancy hormones, but I guess they must have influence - helping to magnify the bad feelings. I know I need to make more of an effort to keep positive, it's really not fair on the baby. But easier said than done - plus I've always been prone to feeling sorry for myself.

On a positive note - a stranger realised I was pregnant last night! I was meeting up with the girls from my nct class at a local restaurant and the maitre d said I know which table you are here for and took me straight to the group - I felt normal for once!

Trying to kickstart my nesting instinct but really not getting in the mood - feeling a little lazy in general really, which doesn't help as there are still lots of things to do - nothing major, and nothing that can't wait - but everyone keeps telling me that life will be so hard and so different soon than I want to be as prepared as possible!

Will try and post earlier next week - unless I'm busy giving birth!!

Here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 52.5 inches (no change)

Waist - 52 inches (-1)

Hips - 55.5 inches (-2.5)

Weight - -0.1kg 

Symptoms

• emotional (more than usual!)
• periods of extreme tiredness
• sometimes feeling clammy and hot
• leg cramps
• strong twinges and painful aching in my pelvic area - especially around the pubic bone
• heartburn at night if I eat too late

And now for the weekly shots -

38 weeks side view

38 weeks plan view

14th August 2011 - 33 Weeks

Another week missed - sorry! Had my Mum, Nephew and Niece over to stay last weekend so my Sunday morning routine of photographing, measuring and weighing went out of the window again!

So - the past two weeks . . . Bumpy has been making his presence felt ever more lately. Just as I type this he has booted me in the side! I've felt heavier and less mobile. I think I look bigger too. Just noticed tonight that I have the start of a fresh stretchmark around my waist. This is where the skin is tightest - but as before it is still a waistline - the round bump hasn't magically appeared! Now on the subject of stretchmarks - I have loads already. On my tummy, sides, base of my back, tops my arms and my boobs. I go to great lengths to hide them and although most are very faded now they are still upsetting to me. I'm not overly bothered about getting new ones - not like most new mums are that maybe have never experienced stretchmarks before. But still I am covering myself in cocoa butter on a regular basis to minimise the effects.

Only three weeks left at work, this makes it all seem so much more real now. I'm not sure if I will then get four weeks before he arrives as I am thinking he may be early. So I do need to get prepared and pack my hospital bags and wash his clothes! I've been procrastinating about this lately, but I have been so busy at work and in my spare time so when I do get an evening to myself I just flake out of the sofa!

Saw my midwife last Tuesday. Everything was ok. She had a feel of my tummy but couldn't work out where the head was. It was a little embarrassing as I know my bottom podge was the reason why, it doesn't help as her examination table is really short and I have to bend my knees, so with being on a slope all my podge ends up at the bottom and she had to lift it (eurghh!) to use the heartbeat amplifier! The shame - but I'm sure the indignity will just continue when I'm in hospital! Personally I still think he is in the breach position as most kicks seem to be down below. But as I'm having another scan in three weeks we will know a little more then. I wonder if they will recommend a c-section if he is breach - as they did this for my sister. Not sure how I feel about this. In some ways I would be relieved as I know I will be a wimp when it comes to the pain, but of course I am in no way disillusioned in thinking that a c-section is an easier alternative - and the idea of recovering from major surgery with a newborn baby in tow is not an appealing one!

Here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 52.5 inches (no change)

Waist - 51.5 inches (no change)

Hips - 55.5 inches (-1 inch)

Weight - +0.5kg 

My waist has definitely grown although the measurements don't back this up - what I think has happened is that it's just changed shape. I almost feel like my waist looks smaller from the front - but if you look at the plan view you can see how Bumpy is sticking our front now.
Weightwise - I'll be interested to see how my weight goes over the next few weeks and if I will end up lighter than I started after giving birth. Still not making an issue of it and am eating normally, but probably a little naughtier than usual as a few biscuits and chocolate buttons have sneaked their way into the shopping lately!

Symptoms

• leg cramps at night - getting worse if I sit with my legs up for too long
• increasingly vivid and weird dreams
• Periods of extreme tiredness
• more heartburn - but still irregular
• twinges and painful aching in my pelvic area - especially around the pubic bone
• increased discharge down below
• headaches in the morning

And now for the weekly shots -

33 weeks pregnant side view

33 weeks pregnant plan view

31st July 2011 - 31 weeks

Sorry for the missing post last week, we ended up doing a boot fair and just didn't have any spare time at all (or energy) for photos and blogging.

This weekend has been just as hectic, as it was our friends wedding on Friday which has left me feeling exhausted. I was the designated driver as I wouldn't be drinking of course, but after all day on my feet and even a little dancing (which felt weird with a baby in my wobbly tummy), I felt pretty tired and my poor legs were cramping terribly.

I struggled knowing what to wear too, I wanted people to be able to see that I was pregnant, but knew I wouldn't be able to find a proper maternity dress that I liked, or that existed in my size! So I luckily had a pretty summer dress that I had bought a couple years ago that I had never worn as it was too big around the bust. Luckily it fitted over my bulge and even flared off nicely, hiding the bottom of my B bump! After a bit of sewing the top was amended and I had a dress I could wear. I still don't know if I looked pregnant to people that didn't know me.

One of the bridesmaids was due in 3 weeks and she had the most amazing bump, no mistaking at all that she was pregnant. She sat on the same table as me and the waitresses knew not to offer her alcohol, but I was offered it every time, a small thing I know, but it made me feel a little sorry for myself. Measured myself today and my measurements haven't changed since 2 weeks ago. I saw my midwife last week and she told me about another lady who just gave birth who was a similar size to me and also had what she referred to as a tight band around her middle preventing her from having a round bump. She said that I probably wouldn't get a proper bump too.

I know I always whinge about this and I know that this probably sounds trivial to most people but I really looked forward to having a bump, and not having one at this stage, and probably never having one makes me feel sad. There is also the embarrassment of people not realising I'm pregnant. Today I met a friend of my sisters who is due 4 days after me and she had a huge round bump. I stood right in front of her and felt like apologising for mine and said that mine was still mostly podge and hers was amazing. Even looking back over photos of me from 8 weeks pregnant I can hardly see any difference. All my friends say that I'm lucky, but I just feel cheated out of the whole experience now and just want it over with now so I now longer have this feeling of disappointment and embarrassment.

Maybe it is the hormones making me overreact. Not sure. If I continue to stay around the same weight I guess it must mean that I've lost weight, so it will be a nice bonus when Bumpy arrives, which won't be long now. Getting more excited about meeting him and seeing what he looks like. I think it may take me some time to adjust as I still have mixed feelings about becoming a parent. I don't know if I'll be any good at it, and worry that I will regret the life I used to have. Unfortunately, as mentioned in my previous  posts poor Bumpy's arrival has been at the most traumatic time in my life ever and I do worry about him being associated with all the negative emotions. I'm sure his arrival will be a welcome injection of positive emotion, just what we all need right now.

Still struggling with coming to terms with losing Dad, I think in a way it's harder now that it was before as Mum is finding it harder too, which hurts so, so much. I have found the whole process completely draining and can't help wishing that it would all go away, but of course that's not an option.

Too late now to go into all of that again - so ...

Here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 52.5 inches (no change)

Waist - 51.5 inches (no change)

Hips - 56.5 inches (no change)

Weight - -0.1kg 

Symptoms

• leg cramps during the night
• sharp pain in the night if I try and flip over too quickly
• Periods of extreme tiredness
• more heartburn now
• shorter of breath than normal
• very achey hips and pelvic area

And now for the weekly shots - 

31 weeks plan view

31 weeks side view

17th July 2011 - 29 weeks

Ok, first off - had my GTT test, started at 4.7 then was 5.8 after 2 hours - so all ok. Plus my iron levels were good too - so no worries there. Then on Wednesday I had my 28 week scan. Again everything for normal, a big relief as I was quite worried about his growth. Even more so after sitting in a room with other 28 week pregnant ladies whose bumps seem to be much bigger than mine. But I think I've decided that due to my shape and size originally and that I think I've lost a little weight (discounting the baby weight) then I'm not showing as much as I should be. But that said, I can see this all changing dramatically over the next few weeks as my waistline - the valley between my top and bottom bumps  - is growing and will hopefully pop out over the next few weeks to give me a proper bump. But if it doesn't, then it doesn't. There's not much I can do about it, apart from choosing what I wear.

But  I do want to be normal, and to not have to explain to people that I am pregnant, it's embarrassing having to explain it to people still. Only 6 weeks left at work now, it will be hard for me to leave my department behind for so many months, I do worry that things will change, things that I won't like. But I can't have it all can I? My boss has asked me to work on some projects whilst I am off, which is nice, but how will this work in reality? Hard to know until he arrives and I know how much else I can cope with!

Feeling the urge to understand more of the finer details about having and looking after a baby, I know you can read and read and read, but will never know everything - or that other people can't always teach you what's right for you and your baby and you have to trust your instincts. Will be making many a list though to make sure I've bought all of the essentials and packed all the right things to take to the hospital - yes that's on my mind every day now - the hospital!! That day is fast approaching and the main thing I need to do now is to get my head around the fact that I'm actually going to have a baby coming out of my nether regions soon!

Tired now so will stop blethering on -

Here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 52.5 inches (-0.5)

Waist - 51.5 inches (-0.5)

Hips - 56.5 inches (-0.5)

Weight - -2.1kg 

Symptoms

• leg cramps during the night
• sharp pain in the night if I try and flip over too quickly
• Periods of extreme tiredness
• little bit of heartburn
• shorter of breath than normal

And now for the weekly shots - 

29 weeks plan view

29 weeks side view

10th July 2011 - 28 weeks

So I'm at the start of my Third trimester. The home stretch. Feeling under-prepared for bringing a baby into the house. Not that I don't have much of the stuff, it's just the practical side like feeding and sleeping patterns I worry about. I need to read some more to put my mind at rest.

Reading my last post was quite depressing. You'll be glad to hear that I'm feeling a lot brighter today. I had a few terrible days last week where I just couldn't lift myself out of the self pity and excessive crying. I know it's still early days so no wonder I'm up and down a lot. After saying how that physically I felt normal I found myself exhausted several times last week. Two or three nights I just laid on the sofa, not achieving much. Which I really hate as I have so much to do at the moment.

I have my Glucose Tolerance test tomorrow - so no food after 10pm tonight. My sister has had to have these so I kind of know what to expect. I'm more concerned about the growth scan on Wednesday as I am quite convinced now that the baby isn't growing enough. This is based on the fact that my tummy hasn't expanded much. There is an increase to my waist this month but overall I've only added about 4 inches since the start - is this normal? My mum told me several times over the weekend that I don't look 6 months pregnant. I haven't mentioned to anyone that I'm worried about the baby's growth, I just laugh off the fact that he is hiding in my podge. My top podge continues to expand above all else making it really hard to find clothes to wear that don't make me look too oddly shaped. I have a friends wedding to go to soon, god knows what I'm going to wear!

I finished the fitted sheets for the cot today - here's a photo of one of them on -

It's nice to add a bit of colour back into the room, as it is quite monochrome. And it's nice that the colours are to my taste - and not the bland palette of creams and pastels that the high street offer! I'll put more photos on soon as I get more organised.

Here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 53 inches (-0.5)

Waist - 52 inches (+1.5)

Hips - 57 inches (no change)

Weight - +2.5kg (eek!!)

Symptoms

• leg cramps during the night
• sharp pain in the night if I try and flip over too quickly
• still gagging in the morning and bringing up a lot of phlegm (TMI)
• Periods of extreme tiredness

And now for the weekly shots - 

28 weeks plan view

28 weeks side view