21st February 2011 - 8 weeks

Had my booking appointment today. Luckily my midwife is lovely - such a relief, I had such a fear of having someone judgemental and who would make an issue of my weight. There was also a student Midwife sitting in on the appointment, she was lovely too - and together they made me feel at ease and normal!!

Even though I was warned I was amazed at how much paperwork was involved. SO much information to take in at once! I was weighed - very discretely I might add, my height was measured, blood pressure taken (larger cuff needed - don't be embarrassed to ask for once as apparently if you have the small cuff and it is too tight it can give a false result. I then had to pop off and produce a urine sample then finally they took three vials of blood- very painlessly thank god!

I now have my "Blue Book" to look after and produce at all my appointments!

It all went relatively straightforward until I had to mention my medical history. Five years ago I had a Pulmonary Embolism - a blood clot that formed in my leg and travelled to my lungs - resulting in a spell in hospital, 6 months on warfarin and never being able to take the contraceptive pill again. I was aware that pregnancy increases the risk of blood clots but I wasn't expecting it to be a major issue for me. On this basis alone I had been put under hospital care as well to monitor me - not sure what extra tests or appointments I will need at this stage -but I had to mention the long haul flight I am due to take this weekend for business which if I'm honest I am quite nervous about.

I am flying to Hong Kong, then to India and then back to London, with a short flight in between to Eastern China. Ever since my PE I have had to be extra careful when flying - taking aspirin three days before and after, wearing flight socks, drinking lots of fluid, leg exercises and walking around as much as possible. I can never really fall asleep or sit or lay awkwardly. I now insist on business class seats which they weren't overly happy about but the bosses go business and they have no health issues!! Typical!!

But for this trip things are different. After my consultation the midwife checked with one of the doctors about me flying, he wasn't willing to commit to anything and so later today I received a phone call from another doctor who had been in touch with the Haematology department at my local hospital to speak to one of the consultants there! The verdict was that I am now considered a very high risk of blood clots and if I do fly then there is a high risk of developing a clot which could end up giving me a heart attack. I tried to take this all in as at the time I was tucked in a corner at work just about to go into a meeting. I know that she was just making me aware of the risks, but she also scared the living daylights out of me. Before I go I have to go back to my GP and have instructions on some blood thinning injections they will give me to take with me. I'm not sure exactly what I am injecting yet - it wasn't Warfarin or Heparin, it was something I haven't come across before.

I'm still reeling a little as I didn't expect such a big reaction, maybe I was being naive. Part of me is wanting to try and get out of the trip but the other part is thinking that this must be an over-reaction and everyone is being over cautious. I have had to cancel one of these trips before, 5 years ago when I became ill and I remember the upheaval and extra expense I caused and I stupidly worry about causing this hassle again. But I know that my main priority should be my baby's health and my health also - not work. It's a hard habit to break, I have given so much of my life to my job over the past 10 years, so much so that I have put off getting married and having kids! But now it feels like this is the last time my job will take priority over my private life.

Shortly after I get back I will be 12 weeks and I can tell everyone at work, but to cancel the trip now I will have to say why and accept the consequences thereafter!

So that's where I am today, feel like I've vented a little too much - sorry!

Anyway here are my measurements for this week -

Bust  - 51 inches (-0.5)

Waist - 48 inches - no change

Hips - 56 inches - no change

Weight - +0.3kg

Symptoms

• queasiness - especially in the morning when cleaning my teeth and when looking at meat
• bad hair still
• some spots
• can now feel a harder area just below my belly button - nothing to see yet though.

And finally the weekly shots - do I look any different yet?

8 weeks side view

8 weeks plan view

12th February 2011 - 6.5 weeks

So here is the little prawn!

As I said it's not very clear, and the dark patches on the right sare the fluid around my hip.

So here are my measurements for this week -

Bust  - 51.5 inches (-1.5)
Waist - 48 inches (-0.5)
Hips - 56 inches (-1)
Weight - -2.8kg

I think that the reduction in everything is as I was retaining a lot if water and I sweated most of it out whilst I was ill. Will be interesting to see what happens next week. Personally my tummy feels a little harder although no bigger yet.

Symptoms

• queasiness - have been sick three times this week
• loss of appetite
• bad hair still
• some spots
• had a few short sharp pains in my lower abdomen and lady bits
• firmer and rounder boobs

And finally the weekly shots - I think I look a little less puffy and my boobs look larger too.

6.5 weeks

6.5 weeks

11th February 2011 - 6.5 weeks

Well I've had a pretty eventful week!

Telling the family went well. Everyone was over the moon. My Mum was a little shocked as I think she had written me off as some kind of crazy cat career woman! I had a very long day on Monday driving over 350 miles in one day as well as walking around a giant trade fair, all with a very stiff neck which I have strangely developed.

Then then next day I started to feel unwell. I had eaten some cashew nuts from my Graze box and started to feel a little queasy. I also felt very hot and generally a bit dodgy. I have a friend at work who knows I am pregnant and I think she raised suspicions of a co-worker by bringing me a glass of flat coke whilst I was in the ladies loo. I really don't want any rumours rushing around the office just yet. I was sick, but still didn't feel much better. I lasted until after lunch then I just had to give up and go home. I was getting the all too familiar feeling of tonsillitis which I have suffered with for years to varying degrees or another.

So I then spent the next day and a half in bed. Unable to take anything apart from one paracetamol every 8 hours. Normally I would dose myself up with ibuprofen or antibiotics but this time I had to ride it out. I was running a temperature which I knew could become dangerous if it got too high so my trusty ear thermometer was very well utilised to keep a check on it. I was also losing a lot of fluid so I tried to drink enough water as possible but it made me feel so queasy. I made the mistake of looking online about the dangers of running a temperature when pregnant, never a good idea when you feel so bad already!

But today I am feeling better and went back to work, I still have a really stiff neck which is really bugging me - not sure if this is in any way pregnancy related too? Hmmm. My mood was lifted also as today was the day of my second scan. I had felt really numb all week after the non-event last Saturday so I was trying to prepare myself for the worst. Luckily I had a different lady doing the scan, and she was very lovely, professional and skilled. Straight away she picked up a clear black oval with a squidgy looking prawn inside! It all happened so quickly it took me by surprise - and yes I shed a tear. I was so relieved!

Apparently I have a tilted uterus which means I am a little hard to scan. She also dated me at 6.5 weeks , not 7 weeks as I had thought, (the baby measured 6.5mm). She asked me again about my dates, it must not make sense somehow! The sonographer pointed out a very feint flickering which was the heart - to be honest it was really hard to see. I also saw my cyst on my left ovary which was still around 3.5cm - much clearer to see than the baby! She also pointed out that I have some fluid around my hip - I have suffered with pain in my hips, especially my right hip for a few years now. Have had xrays but they were inconclusive so generally I dose myself up ibuprofen to dull the pain - another thing I will have to grin and bear for the next 8 months. I do worry that later on this will become an issue - but keeping my fingers crossed for now.

So back to the baby! Yes so it is confirmed I have a baby in my belly! Yay! Blimey!!!

I will update my stats tomorrow when I weigh and measure myself tomorrow. I normally do this on a Sunday but I am flying off to Frankfurt for another trade show very early Sunday morning.

I will also post a photo of the scan as soon as possible.

5th February 2011 - 6 Weeks

During the week we have spoken a lot about when to tell our families. My husband recently lost his Nan, who was the centre of the whole family, her funeral was yesterday (the 4th) so we thought our good news might be just what everyone needed.

But so many people wait until the 12 week mark to spread the news. It was a tough decision, because it meant telling my family too - as it wouldn't have been fair them. And just hope that no-one blabs!

But to reassure us (me mostly) I found out that I could have an early viability scan from 6 weeks - so we booked this for the morning of the 5th. I turned up with a full bladder. Nervous already about how the sonographer would react to my size. At first she attempted the normal scan on top of my belly - I had suspected this would be a waste of time and it was. She tried nudging my belly up which felt so embarrassing. She didn't say anything but I got the feeling she wasn't too happy about it either. After emptying my bladder (phew!) she then attempted the internal (TV) scan. I have had one of these previously for a polyp so I knew what to expect - it isn't as bad as you might think.

So she popped it in and my husband and I craned our necks to see our baby on the screen, but we didn't. After what felt like hours of her waving the wand around inside me I asked her if everything was alright. She didn't say yes or no, but instead asked my if my cycle was regular. Which it was. She then said I was difficult to scan. Now I don't know whether this was her commenting on my weight, but I assumed that if she was scanning me from the inside the flubber wouldn't be an issue?

Eventually she stopped on a very fuzzy looking squashed oval which was ever so slightly darker than the grey fuzz on the screen. She said that was the gestational sac, but she couldn't detect a baby inside it. Straight away I assumed the worst, she did say that I should come back in two weeks to try again (without charge) to see if anything has changed. She also gave me the great news than I have a 3.5cm cyst on one of my ovaries - so that might have been why I have had some pain on one side. I think the lady saw my panic and said to come back in a week instead. In the car I read the paperwork which said the sac measure 5 to 6 weeks.

My husband still wanted to tell his family, but I felt like a fraud and kept saying that it's early days so don't get too excited. Once we got home I spent hours looking at other scans of this date range and to my relief many others were empty at this stage, and the cyst was actually a sign of pregnancy which may go away naturally. But until I see a flickering heartbeat I can't fully acknowledge that I am pregnant. It's astounding how many things can go wrong, and how many things there are to worry about.

Here are my measurements for this week -

Bust - 53 inches (+1.5)
Waist - 48.5 (+1.5)
Hips - 57 (+1)
Weight - +2.2kg

Not happy about the weight but feel a lot of it may be down to water retention as I feel quite bloated and puffy.

Symptoms

• thirsty
• bloated (so much so that in the evenings I cannot bear to have anything around my waist)
• a few spots
• very sensitive nipples
• firmer larger boobs
• bad hair
• fast growing nails

28th January 2011 - 5 weeks

Based on the first day of my last period (25th December 2010) I am now Five Weeks pregnant!! Yesterday morning we had our positive test result and duly booked my first Midwife appointment for my 8th week.

So symptoms 

• mild headaches - mostly around my forehead
• pulling aching feeling on my right hand side
• needing the loo more often
• boobs are getting larger and more firmer by the day
• bloating - mostly in the evening after eating a large meal

Before I fell pregnant I have been keeping a chart of my measurements so will add these also - 

These are my pregnancy measurements - 

Bust - 49 inches

Waist - 48.5 inches

Hips - 56.5 inches

And these were my measurements as of Sunday 30th January - 

Bust - 51.5 (+2.5)

Waist - 47 inches (-1.5)

Hips - 56 inches (-0.5)

Weight - 0kg

So far I think I have downloaded about 15 baby and pregnancy related apps for my iPhone but I haven't really found any of them that informative. One website I really like is Babycentre - which has really clear and straighforward info. The community side of the site is great too - there is one group in particular I have found super helpful which is Pregnant, Plus Size and Beyond There is also a belly gallery for plus size mums to be.

That's one aspect that concerns me already - will people ever notice I am pregnant? I already have a large belly and a spare tyre (both pre-pregnancy) and long for a lovely round baby bump. Some of the mums on the Babycentre forums talk about having a B-bump instead of a D-bump. Whilst in the whole scheme of things it seems a little trivial - as of course the most important thing is to have a healthy pregnancy and baby, but for us larger women we are often made to feel less feminine, and pregnancy is the most feminine time you can experience. You want to feel womanly, not just fatter - and the obvious D-bump is the best way to show others that you haven't just been eating more McDonalds, you have a little person growing in your tummy!

So I am posting weekly photos to see what changes are happening -

5.5 weeks

5.5 weeks

A little about me . . .

So, what can I tell you? I'm 34 (35 in August). I live in Kent in the UK with my husband and our two cats. We married last June (2010) after being together for 10 years.

I work as a giftware designer, but my real passion if for my craft business which I run part time (in a very small way). Last November the husb and I decided (after he had been bugging me for months) to start trying for a baby. So ever diligent I threw myself into researching how to do it!!

Us girls spend years trying not to get pregnant, so as silly as it sounds I knew very little about how my body worked and how to get pregnant. Many of my friends have children and some of them took years to conceive so I thought it would take several months at least. For the first month of trying (December) we didn't really put much effort into it, and I hadn't really worked out my cycle properly. But still convinced myself that as soon as we tried it would happen. But I found out on the 24th that I was wrong. So for January (2011) I decided to make a good go at it. I had downloaded the Pink Pad app in my iPhone which tracked my period and told me when I would be most fertile. I also invested in some sperm friendly lubricant (gross I know - but I wanted as much help as possible).

We then did the deed every day starting 3 days before my fertile period to the last day of my fertile period. After each attempt I stayed in bed, bottom raised for about an hour. I even tried visualising the little sperms meeting the egg! Not sure what worked but by the 17th of January I kind of knew it had.

I started feeling bloated and tired, then on the 20th I had light spotting, a few days before my period was due. This lasted for three days, with a little bit of pink on the first day, then brown on the other days. My nipples also became more sensitive and my boobs felt heavier. I also had a strange pulling feeling down the right side of my tummy, and needed the loo a little more than usual.

My period was due on the 24th of January, so by the 26th without any show we decided to test the next morning. By 3.30am I really needed a wee, but I knew that the first pee of the day would have the highest amount of the hcg hormone in which I needed for an accurate test. So I woke the husb up, he was really grumpy at first, we almost didn't bother testing as he was being so miserable and I didn't want to spoil the moment. But he woke up a little more and helped me. I already had a clean cup ready to wee into (not that accurate at weeing on a stick).

We used the basic Clear Blue test (the one that is a positive + sign for pregnant and a minus - sign for negative) I used the trusty iPhone to time the 2 minutes wait needed. Then sat down on the bed together, both bleary eyed and anxious we saw that the test was clearly positive. It's true when they say you feel a million different emotions at once - relief, happiness, fear, anxiety, excitement, pride, panic . . .

We cried and hugged a little and then went back to sleep (kind of).