Showing posts with label pregnant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnant. Show all posts

Monday, 31 October 2011

He's here!!!!

Oh my word - what a relief. He's finally here - my very cute baby boy, Olly.

He arrived on Friday the 14th of October at 9.04pm after being induced the day before and being in active labour for about 10 hours. Five hours in I opted for an epidural as I really wasn't dealing with the pain and felt the urge to push far to soon. By the time I was transferred to Delivery from Antenatal I was 8-9cm dilated and the Anaesthetist was questioning whether the epidural was too late.
I did, for a moment, wonder if I could carry on without the drugs, but in the end I am so glad I did as it made the whole birth experience much calmer and pain free!
It's afterwards the problems occur as because I couldn't feel anything, pushing was hard to control and I think I actually pushed too hard - leaving me with second degree tears and a general feeling of everything being ruined down below!!
But that aside, baby Olly is perfect - he weighed 9lb 9oz! Wasn't expecting that! He was 12 days overdue at the end - and I didn't even have gestational diabetes. Despite what so many doctors say, overweight women are more than capable of giving birth without intervention. Yes he did need to be induced, and I had an epidural, but my out of condition body managed to push out a perfectly healthy, bouncing baby boy!
I will post more in the days to come but for now here is a picture of my little creation -


Tuesday, 11 October 2011

11th October 2011 - 41 weeks

Late posting as usual - and still pregnant!!! I am now 41 + 3. How do I feel about this? Surprisingly calm, but mostly because I am delaying the pain. As much as I know I have a baby inside me, my son, my first child, I feel like I am avoiding the inevitable at the moment and am happy to put of D Day for as long as possible. I am very scared of the pain and how I will cope with it.

This fear has been elevated since visiting my consultant last week. She decided to perform a sweep - I was expecting this, and happy to go ahead - despite the embarrassment factor. I went with the Hubby, and glad I did as it was NOT a good experience. I knew it would be uncomfortable, what I didn't expect was for it to be one of the single most painful experiences of my life (so far). She brought in a Midwife for distraction purposes - which I thought was a joke at first. It wasn't, and she didn't distract me. She didn't really explain what she was going to do, in fact I think she thought the hit and run approach was best but it shocked the life out of me. At first it felt as if she were using a giant speculum with sharp bits on - but it was her hand. It was so roughly done - I'm sure it could have been less traumatic.

I was booked in for an induction date afterwards, and hardly remember anything the midwife said to me as I was in shock. I had to drive myself home afterwards as we had taken separate cars, I don't know how I did it. It took me a couple of days to get over it, and made me realise just how much pain I am in for. The sweep didn't work, even though I was 2cm dilated, so today I went back to my regular midwife and had another sweep - this hurt alot too - especially as she had sharp finger nails!! But I knew what to expect and we've tried everything else in the past week to oust this little fella. I really want to avoid being induced (I'm booked in for Thursday) as I've heard in can be even more painful than normal labour - but I just need to get him out now as I'm getting worried about him being in there too long, and everyone is getting really impatient - not to mention the husband - who thinks I am stalling!! Like I have a choice!!

Who knows - after the sweep this afternoon (still 2cm) things may happen tonight. And tomorrow is a full moon - which is also supposed to increase the delivery rate. Will miss my bump I think - especially as it is only a recent development. Won't miss the pain in my pelvis though and not being able to sleep on my front or back. I guess it all depends what happens at the birth - I may be in even more pain afterwards!!

Here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 52 inches (-0.5)
Waist - 52 inches (-0.5)
Hips - 56.5 inches (-0.5)
Weight - no change from last week 


Symptoms
  • emotional (still!)
  • random aches and pains - some sciatic pain in left hip
  • dry lips
  • some dizziness
  • painful aching in my pelvic area - especially around the pubic bone
  • heartburn
  • crazy dreams
Here are the last shots (perhaps?) - 

41 weeks side view

41 weeks plan view

Sunday, 3 July 2011

3rd July 2011 - 27 weeks

Next week I think I am technically into my third trimester. So this makes this my last week of my second. People keep asking me if I feel extra tired, or if the heat is getting to me. But I don't feel too different to how I normally feel. I haven't been sleeping very well for quite a while now, and that's bound to make anyone feel tired. What with everything that has happened recently I guess it's no surprise.

It's four weeks today since Dad died. Feels longer in some ways. Some days I feel so desperately distraught and pained by him not being here any more. I feel guilty if I temporarily forget, this has happened a few times at work, the worst place to get upset. People don't really know what to say to me. And those who have never lost anyone probably think I must be over it by now. I want the world to stop and mourn for my Dad, but it won't and I can't.

My whole life is so different now. It was overwhelming enough preparing for having a baby, but to lose my dad before he's even had the chance to see my son has torn my world apart. I worry that I will associate the baby with loss and sadness. If I'm totally honest I'm still struggling to come to terms with him being a boy as I had dreamt of having a girl and can't imagine what its like to look after a boy. I'm finding it really hard to get excited about the baby. It still doesn't seem real, even when I can feel him kicking, which is a lot now. I worry that I may have some sort of prenatal depression. Or maybe I'm just a bad person? I don't know what to think - I can't talk to anyone about this as they'll think badly of me - as I would too. How can anyone not be excited about their first baby? A baby that was planned?!

Maybe it's hormones on top of my grief. It doesn't help that the day I found out he was a boy was the day Dad was rushed to hospital and I realised he was really ill. I need to separate the two. I can't associate my little boy with the tragedy. I need to see it as the positive event that it is.

Back to the subject of this blog - being Pregnant and Plus Size. I still don't look pregnant. I just look fatter. I'm trying to dress to look pregnant, but it's tricky as I have such an obvious B shaped belly. Pregnant women aren't supposed to have a waist - but I do. I can't ever see my stomach turning into a bump - one thing I was really looking forward to. I also worry that the baby might not be growing enough as my weight is staying around the same and I haven't increased a lot in inches. When I look at photos online of other women at the same stage as me they have massive bumps. Even with my bump hiding in my flubber it's nowhere near as large. I have my 28 week scan next week - so hope this puts my mind at rest.

The cot bed arrives tomorrow - hopefully. This will help make the baby's room look like a proper nursery. I have lots of fabric now to make things with so this should help get me into the baby mindset. Will post more photos soon.


Here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 53.5 inches (+0.5)
Waist - 50.5 inches (+0.5)
Hips - 57 inches (no change)
Weight - +0.5kg


Symptoms
  • same as last week - 
  • back ache
  • leg cramps during the night
  • sharp pain in the night if I try and flip over too quickly
  • still gagging in the morning and bringing up a lot of phlegm (TMI)

And now for the weekly shots - 

27 weeks side view

27 weeks plan view

Sunday, 26 June 2011

26th June 2011 - 26 weeks

We gave Dad a good send off. It was a humanist cremation. He had a beautiful bamboo coffin and the grandchildren "bought" him a beautiful spray of all his favourite things for the top. Gunnera leaves, phormiums, thistles, grasses and all topped off by golden delicious apples. His favourite - he would eat as many of these as Mum would let him. Unfortunately the old adage of "an apple a day . . ." didn't really help Dad in the end - but he loved them anyway.

I went back to work last monday too after almost three weeks off. It helped I guess, but I hate feeling too normal. I don't want to wallow in depression (of do I?) but I need to keep honouring his memory. I've been telling the baby already how I'm going to tell him all about his Grandad. In a way it's been harder this past week as Mum has gone back home so I am free to cry whenever I want now - no more stiff upper lip. I keep hoping for some kind of sign to show that somehow, someway life goes on - and that Dad's big personality still lives on. I haven't had anything so far - but I'm still hopeful. A lot of people I know believe in the afterlife in several formats - I still don't know what I really believe.

Regarding Bumpy, he has continued to grow, he's moving up and causing my belly button to shallow out. Still I don't really look any different. My top podge is quite hard and sticks out a bit more. My bottom podge just hangs around as usual. I can still wear all of my old clothes - even my jeans with an elastic band around the buttonhole. After everything that's happened its the least of my worries, and I've accepted that I will probably never look pregnant. It is embarrassing though when people don't realise. There is a girl at work who is about 14 weeks and she has a lovely litte bump already. I just look fatter.

I need to get my head around all the final bits and pieces that I need for the nursery. Luckily friends and family have been very generous already with clothes and toiletries. The furniture and basic decor of the nursery is finished now. The cot bed is arriving next week and the pram arrived a couple weeks ago so I have all the big stuff. Here's a photo of the clothes we have already -


Here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 53 inches (+1.5)
Waist - 50 inches (-0.5)
Hips - 57 inches (no change)
Weight - +1.3kg


Symptoms
  • back ache
  • leg cramps during the night
  • sharp pain in the night if I try and flip over too quickly
  • still gagging in the morning and bringing up alot of phlegm (TMI)
I had a visit to the Healthy Eating Midwife last week and although for some reason I was a little heavier during the week than I was today she was still happy with my weight gain. My blood pressure was low (104/60) but she seemed more than happy with my progress.

And now for the weekly shots - 


26 weeks side view

26 weeks plan view

Sunday, 8 May 2011

8th May 2011 - 19 weeks

The biggest joy of pregnancy this week has had to be the c word - constipation!! Please excuse the toilet talk but having read previously how this can be an issue I have now discovered it for myself. To be honest I'm not the most dynamic person in the bowel area but this has always been easily remedied with extra fluids. But even with the extra fluids, lots of fruit and high fibre diet I'm still getting bunged up.

I had already bought some Fybogel in readiness and had to use two sachets this week. I may have to see if there is anything else I can do thats safe for the baby as I found the whole ordeal very stressful!

I've had a lot of backache this week and find myself feeling very uncomfortable in bed. I'm now on my fourth pillow configuration, I've tried a specialist memory foam maternity pillow - too heavy, a memory foam head pillow - wrong shape, a large throw cushion - too thick and hot and now I am onto my own creation of a cuddle cushion - or sleep sausage as I like to call it! All it is, is a single duvet (with cover) rolled up and kept in place in several places with ribbon - not very sophisticated but it means I can wrap my leg over it, cuddle it and not squash my tummy all at the same time. It's also light enough so I can hold onto it when I change sides. Although I'm really trying not to sleep on my right side as this really aggravates my right hip.

I worry that I may never have a decent nights sleep again as the discomfort will only worsen and once the baby arrives I'm sure the nights will never be peaceful again! I'm feeling sorry for myself - can you tell?

Three days now until my "20 week" scan. Really need to see the baby and to make things as little more real again. I'm worrying at the moment that I can't feel them move enough - but the subtle fluttery bubbling feeling I have is so subtle I'm still not 100% sure that it is the baby I am feeling. I'm hoping too that we can get a definite answer on whether this is a girl or a boy. I really need to know. Once I can put a name to the bump (or should I say bulge) then I can start to come to terms with the reality of being someones mum!


Here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 51 inches (-0.5)
Waist - 48.5 inches (no change)
Hips - 56 inches (no change)
Weight - +0.4kg

Hoping this isn't the start of the weight gain!! But still don't look any different!! All that's happening is my top podge is getting a little bigger and firmer as my internal organs are being squished up - but Bumpy (now to be know as Bulgey) is still nestled in my podge!! Come out and give a proper round bump!!

Symptoms
  • severe constipation
  • back ache
  • crazy dreams
  • worrying
And now for the weekly shots - 

19 weeks side view

19 weeks plan view

Sunday, 1 May 2011

1st May 2011 - 18 weeks

Time really is flying by now. I still can't believe that in four months now I'll have a little person to look after. We had a trial run this weekend looking after my sisters two children who are four and 16 months. Having to look after two children, one of which is an energetic four year old was exhausting and really made it hit home how much of a full time job it is. I've learnt that by being prepared and having a routine helps, so does being patient. I do worry about getting stressed, not just at the baby but at my husband who hasn't quite grasped the practical side of parenting and will happily let a baby sit in full sun without sun cream, hat, water or shade!! He still thought that I was making a fuss!

I still think I will stick at one child, I don't know if I could cope with two - especially if there wasn't much of an age gap. This weekend also made me realise that I can no longer be lazy, or think about myself first. That's going to tough for me as I'm so used to getting my own way!

We've ordered the car seat already as I was worried as it seemed to be going out of stock everywhere. But I am still nervous about buying too much. I know that buying things won't make something bad happen but a part of me still expects the worst. I guess that's normal, and I do need to be in some way realistic. There have been so many other women on the Babycentre forums that have miscarried, some further along than me. I know that even if everything goes well I will still be worrying once they are here!

I've been really emotional again this week, I've cried about 5 times every day - I only need to read something sad, or see something tragic on tv then I'm off! I even cried watching the Royal Wedding (although I suspect I won't be the only one!) I've also had very little patience with the husband, who at times is fantastic and lovely, but at other times is pig headed and extremely annoying. Now I'm trying to keep a level head, and hate to be called emotional (even if that's what I'm being) but I'm finding it so hard to bite my tongue at the moment! I can see several more arguments ahead!!

Anyway, that's enough whinging for now, here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 51.5 inches (no change)
Waist - 48.5 inches (-0.5)
Hips - 56 inches (+0.5)
Weight - -0.4kg

Lost a little weight, strange considering I had a lot more chocolate than usual as it was Easter!

Symptoms

  • even more emotional and irritable
  • lack of motivation
  • back ache
And now for the weekly shots - still don't look any different!!!

18 weeks side view

18 weeks plan view

Sunday, 27 March 2011

27th March 2011 - 13 weeks

So, what a long week! Scan day on Tuesday, which didn't exactly go to plan. I had been really anxious about having the scan, mostly for vanity reasons - my tummy is very flabby and covered in old stretch marks from puberty. Basically it's not a pretty sight and the idea of a stranger squishing it around filled me with dread.

On arrival at the clinic in my local hospital I found the whole system confusing - having to check in at on place, then another, and sitting in three different waiting areas. On top of that I had missed part of a form in my blue book which required my signature - the lady dealing with me was not impressed and made me feel like an idiot. So I was holding back the tears waiting outside the room. I was with the hubby who was a bit bemused by my reaction as he was just excited to see the baby of course. By the time it was my turn I was led into the room to be introduced to the back of the sonographer, who didn't even bother to turn around and say hello. It was a man, which added to my anxiety.

Once on the bed the angry lady (not sure if she was a nurse) told me off again for not pulling my leggings down far enough at the back - why did they need to be half way down my bottom?! More embarrassment. Then the sonographer walked around the curtain and began. It didn't take long, after a minute of very painful jabs with the scanner and alot of discomfort we had seen fleeting images of the baby - so much bigger than our earlier scan, much more babylike. He/she even did a little wriggle, but this magical moment was cut short when the sonographer decided the image wasn't clear enough, possibly because I hadn't drunk enough water and that I need to come back next week.

He also said that I may need a TV scan but he didn't have time to do one as other patients had arrived late. He did manage to date me - my due date has now moved to September 29th. I expected it to be tricky to see things so I wasn't overly surprised, but I did get the feeling that he didn't really try very hard and my weight was a good reason to cut the appointment short so he could get back on schedule. Might be wrong, but I generally left feeling quite traumatised by the whole experience, and a little emotional.

So now I have to go back next Wednesday as I have an appointment with a consultant so they have booked my scan for just before that. But since this all happened there have been further developments. I woke up early Friday morning, not really feeling any different than I usually do and of course needed to visit the loo, but I discovered that I was spotting. The first wipe was light pink, I called out to my husband who woke up with a jolt. It felt surreal. I had no pain, and the spotting was very light, but I checked out my books to see what to do. After getting washed and dressed I checked again and it was now a brown discharge, which reassured me - I don't know why, just seemed less scary than pink blood.

After an hour of trying I finally got through to the Midwives call centre and was told by the lady who answered the phone that my Midwife was on call and even so she wouldn't be able to help, so I needed to see my GP. Luckily I managed to get an appointment for that afternoon. I was feeling quite calm strangely enough, telling myself that this was very common, the bleeding had stopped and I had no pain, so there was nothing to panic about. I saw a junior doctor (I never seem to see the same doctor twice at my surgery!), but she was very lovely, read all of my notes thoroughly and really tried to allay my fears. After taking my pulse and blood pressure she then felt my tummy and told me that she wasn't worrying, so I needn't but to be on the safe side I should have a scan as soon as possible.

She arranged the scan for first thing Monday morning, so now I just have to wait. I've not had any bleeding since Friday and feel ok. I wonder whether if something was wrong would I be able to tell? Then I worry that I'm not worrying enough! I just need to see their heart beating, then I can relax. Fingers crossed.


Here are my measurements for this week -

Bust  - 51.5 inches (no change)
Waist - 49 inches (-.05)
Hips - 56.5 (+0.5)
Weight - -1.2kg

Surprised I have lost weight, as apart from being sick in the morning (when there's nothing to bring up) I've kept most things down. I've even had three cheese baguettes for lunch this week - which are more than I normally have.

Symptoms
  • Sickness - in the morning mostly
  • My boobs have felt bigger and more sensitive this week (so am surprised they haven't grown)
  • Waist is changing shape, and my top tyre feels bigger also.
And finally the weekly shots -

13 weeks plan view

13 weeks side view

Sunday, 20 March 2011

20th March 2011 - 12 weeks

This week I have started to feel uncomfortable. I've suffered in the past with hip pain, especially on my right hand side. And for the last few nights I guess as things have been shifting around in there, I have been in some discomfort and on occasion reasonable pain.

Friday night was the worst. I woke up in a panic as the whole right side from my back all the way through me was in some kind of spasm. I had been sleeping on my back for too long - which I know I shouldn't do, but when you are asleep there isn't much you can do! Luckily, naturally I sleep on my left, the best side, but I still need to flip around as everything aches if you stay still for too long. After getting up, going to the loo, having a drink and finally getting back into bed the strong pain subsided, but left me feeling a little battered and very apprehensive of what further pain is yet to come!

I've tried not to think too much about giving birth, but now I have that little niggle in the bak of my head, and although I'd like to think I have a reasonable pain threshold, in actuality I worry that I will be a big wuss! I also worry that I may neve get a good nights sleep again, as I'm only going to get bigger now and once the baby is here they'll be even more reasons not to sleep!

I've decided to buy a body support pillow as scrunched up duvet and an old pillow just aren't helping, will pick it up tomorrow night - so wish me luck that it helps!

My tummy has changed alot this week. From having a small hardness amongst the squidge I now have a small pooch which feels firm and round. Still can't really see anything with clothes on, but there is definite expansion! Just checked the measurements I took this morning and amazingly there's no real change - have put on a couple pounds, but my diet this week has been a bit rubbish and I haven't thrown up as much either.

Next week I'll be able to update you on the scan which is on Tuesday. We will also be telling some more friends on Saturday - not sure how they'll react - especially when one of them realises I am due near their wedding day!


Here are my measurements for this week -

Bust  - 51.5 inches (no change)
Waist - 49.5 inches (+.05)
Hips - 56 (no change)
Weight - +0.9kg

Surprised there isn't a greater change - really feel alot bigger and heavier this week.

Symptoms
  • Hip Pain
  • Backache
  • Mild Headaches - these seem to be getting better
  • Mild Queasiness
  • Rounder firmer tummy - just below belly button
And finally the weekly shots -

12 weeks side view

12 weeks plan view

Sunday, 13 March 2011

13th March 2011 - 11 weeks

Can't believe I'm in my Eleventh week already - it scares the life out of me when I think I'm now more than a quarter the way through. The main development this week is that I can now feel a proper bump. A lovely round ball below my belly button. Nothing to see yet though as it's nestled in with the flubber, but every morning now it seems to be just that little bit bigger.

The week didn't start off too well though as apart from dealing with jetlag I had a couple bad days of morning sickness, followed by extreme tiredness for the whole week. I've put this down to the growth spurt. My diet this week hasn't been great either, ate a whole packet of chocolate fingers on Sunday, then pizza and pancakes on Tuesday, and topped it all off with Fish n Chips Friday night. But still despite all of this I have lost a little weight.

Not sure if I've mentioned already but I have a date for my 12 week scan, it's on the 22nd March, followed a few days later by an appointment with a Consultant. Not quite sure what the Consultant appointment will be for - whether it will be about my weight or my blood clotting. But I'm more nervous about the scan. As much as I can't wait to see Bumpy on the screen I am dreading exposing my flubber and having it squished about and possibly commented upon. Worse still it will interfere with the scan and leave me feeling like some kind of freak rather than an expectant mum. I'm really trying not to worry too much about it, but it's something I'm finding hard to ignore and wish I could get over it and just think about the baby side of things.

Still yet to tell any more people. Hubby wants to wait as long as possible, I'm not sure. Although I have a feeling that I could probably hide it for longer than most women I still want to be open about it as I find it really hard to not spill the beans or make it obvious.

The whole feeling I have at the moment that the reality of having a baby is on hold, until we have the scan and everybody knows. I start to look at pushchairs and other things but it doesn't seem real. I guess it's quite normal to feel this way at this stage - before I know it I will be up to my eyes in nappies and poop!


Here are my measurements for this week -

Bust  - 51.5 inches (no change)
Waist - 49 inches (-.05)
Hips - 56 (no change)
Weight - -0.4kg

Not a great deal of change despite the bump appearing! Wonder if I have lost more weight as surely the baby and fluid weight must have increased this week? Hard to tell I guess.

Symptoms
  • queasiness - two bad days at the beginning of the week but felt much better second half
  • headaches - seem to have almost a constant underlying headache these days
  • emotional
  • tiredness - but waking up early
  • Solid bump appearing! Yay!
And finally the weekly shots -
11 weeks side view

11 weeks plan view

Sunday, 6 March 2011

6th March 2011 - 10 weeks

So my trip last week to Hong Kong, China and India was as you might imagine a tough one. The purpose of this trip was to visit the factories we use, to better understand their manufacturing capabilities. Work-wise it was very interesting and informative. Physically, it was draining.

The week didn't start well. The flight from the UK to Hong Kong takes 13 hours, a long time to be on a flight for anyone. But a nightmare if you aren't allowed to sleep, sit still for too long and must drink as much water as you can manage. It felt like I spent most of the flight in the loo. As mentioned before I insist now on going Business Class so I have enough leg room. This time we flew with BA so went Club World. It was my first time in this class on BA(we usually fly Virgin), but the seats weren't too bad - they lay flat and are approx 20 inches wide. Any larger lady reading this will know the terror of airline seats. In the past I have endure the embarrassment of the seatbelt not fitting and having to hide this from the attendants - no way am I going to ask for an extension!! Luckily in Business Class the belts are generous - why can't they do this across the board?! The seat was wide enough to not dig into my hips and the headphone socket was up high away from my thigh.

Not that relevant to the blog, but blimey the food on BA is awful!! So I arrived in HK the next day, my boss had had a lovely long sleep and felt fine, I did not - and hid away in my hotel room for the rest of the evening. On the Monday morning we fly out to Fuzhou in Eastern China. A short flight, but I felt so sick. We were right next to the Galley and the smell of the food being cooked was almost unbearable. I must mention again that my boss does not yet know about the baby, this will a complete shock to him as he doesn't really see me as a woman - just a fat design robot! Harsh I know, but after 10 years of working with him and being his support system for his roller-coaster emotions I know him too well.

Moving on - the day in Fuzhou was tough, the factory was (as most Chinese factories are) dirty, messy, smelly and depressing. The showroom part was full of wonderful product, but whilst my boss shut down, suffering from jet lag I was left to conduct the rest of the meeting, amending samples, photographing product, discussing QC issues. The whole time suffering from a bad headache, and feeling like the floor was moving up and down - even though I knew it wasn't. To top it all off it was bitterly cold, and when the visit was over the time spent in the airport was even colder and more depressing - with only a choice of three places to eat. I knew I needed to take something for the headache as I feared it would become a migraine, but stupidly I had left the paracetamol back in Hong Kong - all I had was a cooling gel patch for my forehead - not a great look - but I was desperate. I was dreading the flight with the dodgy food smells, I didn't know if I could keep my chinese lunch down!

After a very long and tiring day we made it back to Hong Kong and the familiarity of our usual Hotel. I felt like crap, just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry - which I did. Thank god for the rest of the trip I felt better, and made sure I was well prepared with water, snacks and paracetamol for any emergencies.

So on Wednesday night we fly into New Delhi. I had only been there once before last October - now we were visiting two of the factories we had placed orders with last year. My previous experience of India had been the chaotic but funny trip to and from the trade show - so not exactly a cultural overload. My boss decided that to be on the safe side we shouldn't eat the food - so I survived on mini cheddars and chocolate - but this time he was prepared to eat - which meant (as much as I love Indian food) I too had to eat and risk the infamous Delhi Belly!!

We stayed in a lovely hotel - The Imperial on Janpath. Very old school colonial! But the contrast between the 5 star luxury of our hotel and the squalor we experienced on the way to, and inside the factories can only be seen to be believed. India has a serious problem with poverty, hygiene, organisation, corruption, infrastructure and safety - but the worst problem of all is that no-one seems to care and everyone just accepts it!! Truly shocking and exhausting.

My worst experience was on the last day. The traffic was bad (as usual) and we were stuck at some lights for ages. Anyone who has visited India will be aware of the many people begging at traffic lights. A shocking sight no matter how many times you have seen it (as a Westerner). I was used to people tapping on the window for money. The only option, as hard as it seems is to ignore them. Many of them either choose begging as their career, or are under the control of the mafia who provide shelter, food and protection in exchange for all of their earnings. But on this occasion a woman in her twenties, painfully thin pressed herself and her malnourished baby up against my window. She gestured as to feeding the baby - I looked at the baby's face, it had large oversized eyes which stared right at me. I felt angry that someone could use their chid as a begging tool - I personally think there are always ways of making a living without resorting to begging, but I also felt so sad and wondered what life lay in store for this child. I had often seen older children - 3 or 4 years old who were already experts in begging unaided by their parents. We had no where to go so had to sit whilst this woman pressed herself up against the car, tapping my window. The India factory owner and his father sat in the front unaware of my distress - my boss sat on my left drifting in and out of sleep. That was until I began to cry, and much to my efforts I couldn't contain my sobs. It was embarassing as this was a business meeting, but my so called stiff upper lip disappeared entirely. My boss was unsupportive as usual, and chose not to comment - so my reaction was left undiscussed. Even now I am crying typing this, I cannot get rid of the image of that baby's face. Horrific - just horrific.

Gladly I am home now, back with the hubby and my two cats. Feeling queasy, with a banging headache. But so grateful that I was born in the country and nowhere else - something I don't really appreciate. And knowing that my baby will be born here also - with a chance in life, and not as a money-making tool. Although even here that happens too - but in a much less extreme way.

Sorry if I've depressed anyone reading this - it was a long tough week, and my last trip abroad for quite some time.


Here are my measurements for this week -

Bust  - 51.5 inches (+0.5)
Waist - 49.5 inches (+1.5)
Hips - 56 (+0.5))
Weight - -1kg

I kind of thought I had begun expanding - but now the measurements prove this! I don't know whether to be happy with the weight loss, but I guess at this stage I really shouldn't be gaining anyway - I'm sure I will put it all back on again next week knowing me!

Symptoms
  • queasiness - threw up several times
  • headaches - getting more extreme
  • emotional
  • dizziness
  • Expanding waistline!
And finally the weekly shots - 

10 weeks plan view

10 weeks side view

27th February 2011 - 9 weeks

Apologies for the lateness of this post - I had hoped to update my blog before my flight - but just ran out of time. I did manage to take photos and measurements that morning - really want to keep a good record of this pregnancy, I do love a good stat and comparison photo - even if it is of my expanding waistline!

So after a little hassle and NHS inefficiency I eventually picked up my blood thinning injections the day before my flight. I had been given 6 x 60ml of Clexane in prefilled syringes. Clexane is deemed safer than Warfarin as it doesn't stay in your system that long. Hence taking 4 hours before and then 24 hours after each long haul flight.

Luckily I'm not too squeamish with needles, but still the act of injecting yourself is very alien and not something I could ever get used to. Before the flight I had to do my first injection. Into my tummy. It stung like mad, and left a wonderf bruise the next day!

I still felt like an idiot going on this trip and risking my health and the baby's health. Friends and family mostly thought I shouldn't go either, which made me feel worse. I kept trying to keep things in perspective and fight against my natural instinct to dramatise things, but sometime you just can't help the way you feel. I did though try to adopt the bury your head in the sand approach, which helped somewhat.

I packed lots of nibbles and drinks to my already heavy suitcase - it ended up weighing 26kg! For one week! Food and drink can sometimes be a luxury on these trips, especially when my boss doesn't ever seem bothered about mealtimes! So I knew a well stocked supply of oat bars, biscuits and mini cheddars were essential!

The week before had been tough. Making excuses to be off for my booking appointment, trying to tie up loose ends at work, fulfilling orders for my craft business and of the worst part - attending my husbands Nans Interment. Interring someones ashes turns out to be a distastefully short but nonetheless traumatic event. Helped none by a cold, wet and grey afternoon. We were all worn out by the grief and tragedy of losing Nan, and it wasn't just my husband and I who couldn't help thinking how happy she would have been to hear about the baby. In fact she would have been the happiest of everyone as she had longed for this moment. Not that I'm religious, but I'd like to think she knows somehow, and is still happy.

On that note I guess I'd better tie things up and add my info -


Here are my measurements for this week -

Bust  - 51 inches - no change
Waist - 48 inches - no change
Hips - 55.5 (-0.5)
Weight - +0.1kg

Symptoms
  • queasiness - still, did throw up a couple of times
  • headaches
  • tiredness
  • emotional
And finally the weekly shots - 

9 weeks side view

9 weeks plan view


Saturday, 12 February 2011

12th February 2011 - 6.5 weeks

So here is the little prawn!



As I said it's not very clear, and the dark patches on the right sare the fluid around my hip.

So here are my measurements for this week -

Bust  - 51.5 inches (-1.5)
Waist - 48 inches (-0.5)
Hips - 56 inches (-1)
Weight - -2.8kg

I think that the reduction in everything is as I was retaining a lot if water and I sweated most of it out whilst I was ill. Will be interesting to see what happens next week. Personally my tummy feels a little harder although no bigger yet.

Symptoms
  • queasiness - have been sick three times this week
  • loss of appetite
  • bad hair still
  • some spots
  • had a few short sharp pains in my lower abdomen and lady bits
  • firmer and rounder boobs
And finally the weekly shots - I think I look a little less puffy and my boobs look larger too.

6.5 weeks

6.5 weeks




    Friday, 11 February 2011

    11th February 2011 - 6.5 weeks

    Well I've had a pretty eventful week!

    Telling the family went well. Everyone was over the moon. My Mum was a little shocked as I think she had written me off as some kind of crazy cat career woman! I had a very long day on Monday driving over 350 miles in one day as well as walking around a giant trade fair, all with a very stiff neck which I have strangely developed.

    Then then next day I started to feel unwell. I had eaten some cashew nuts from my Graze box and started to feel a little queasy. I also felt very hot and generally a bit dodgy. I have a friend at work who knows I am pregnant and I think she raised suspicions of a co-worker by bringing me a glass of flat coke whilst I was in the ladies loo. I really don't want any rumours rushing around the office just yet. I was sick, but still didn't feel much better. I lasted until after lunch then I just had to give up and go home. I was getting the all too familiar feeling of tonsillitis which I have suffered with for years to varying degrees or another.

    So I then spent the next day and a half in bed. Unable to take anything apart from one paracetamol every 8 hours. Normally I would dose myself up with ibuprofen or antibiotics but this time I had to ride it out. I was running a temperature which I knew could become dangerous if it got too high so my trusty ear thermometer was very well utilised to keep a check on it. I was also losing a lot of fluid so I tried to drink enough water as possible but it made me feel so queasy. I made the mistake of looking online about the dangers of running a temperature when pregnant, never a good idea when you feel so bad already!

    But today I am feeling better and went back to work, I still have a really stiff neck which is really bugging me - not sure if this is in any way pregnancy related too? Hmmm. My mood was lifted also as today was the day of my second scan. I had felt really numb all week after the non-event last Saturday so I was trying to prepare myself for the worst. Luckily I had a different lady doing the scan, and she was very lovely, professional and skilled. Straight away she picked up a clear black oval with a squidgy looking prawn inside! It all happened so quickly it took me by surprise - and yes I shed a tear. I was so relieved!

    Apparently I have a tilted uterus which means I am a little hard to scan. She also dated me at 6.5 weeks , not 7 weeks as I had thought, (the baby measured 6.5mm). She asked me again about my dates, it must not make sense somehow! The sonographer pointed out a very feint flickering which was the heart - to be honest it was really hard to see. I also saw my cyst on my left ovary which was still around 3.5cm - much clearer to see than the baby! She also pointed out that I have some fluid around my hip - I have suffered with pain in my hips, especially my right hip for a few years now. Have had xrays but they were inconclusive so generally I dose myself up ibuprofen to dull the pain - another thing I will have to grin and bear for the next 8 months. I do worry that later on this will become an issue - but keeping my fingers crossed for now.

    So back to the baby! Yes so it is confirmed I have a baby in my belly! Yay! Blimey!!!

    I will update my stats tomorrow when I weigh and measure myself tomorrow. I normally do this on a Sunday but I am flying off to Frankfurt for another trade show very early Sunday morning.

    I will also post a photo of the scan as soon as possible.