26th June 2011 - 26 weeks

We gave Dad a good send off. It was a humanist cremation. He had a beautiful bamboo coffin and the grandchildren "bought" him a beautiful spray of all his favourite things for the top. Gunnera leaves, phormiums, thistles, grasses and all topped off by golden delicious apples. His favourite - he would eat as many of these as Mum would let him. Unfortunately the old adage of "an apple a day . . ." didn't really help Dad in the end - but he loved them anyway.

I went back to work last monday too after almost three weeks off. It helped I guess, but I hate feeling too normal. I don't want to wallow in depression (of do I?) but I need to keep honouring his memory. I've been telling the baby already how I'm going to tell him all about his Grandad. In a way it's been harder this past week as Mum has gone back home so I am free to cry whenever I want now - no more stiff upper lip. I keep hoping for some kind of sign to show that somehow, someway life goes on - and that Dad's big personality still lives on. I haven't had anything so far - but I'm still hopeful. A lot of people I know believe in the afterlife in several formats - I still don't know what I really believe.

Regarding Bumpy, he has continued to grow, he's moving up and causing my belly button to shallow out. Still I don't really look any different. My top podge is quite hard and sticks out a bit more. My bottom podge just hangs around as usual. I can still wear all of my old clothes - even my jeans with an elastic band around the buttonhole. After everything that's happened its the least of my worries, and I've accepted that I will probably never look pregnant. It is embarrassing though when people don't realise. There is a girl at work who is about 14 weeks and she has a lovely litte bump already. I just look fatter.

I need to get my head around all the final bits and pieces that I need for the nursery. Luckily friends and family have been very generous already with clothes and toiletries. The furniture and basic decor of the nursery is finished now. The cot bed is arriving next week and the pram arrived a couple weeks ago so I have all the big stuff. Here's a photo of the clothes we have already -

Here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 53 inches (+1.5)

Waist - 50 inches (-0.5)

Hips - 57 inches (no change)

Weight - +1.3kg

Symptoms

• back ache
• leg cramps during the night
• sharp pain in the night if I try and flip over too quickly
• still gagging in the morning and bringing up alot of phlegm (TMI)

I had a visit to the Healthy Eating Midwife last week and although for some reason I was a little heavier during the week than I was today she was still happy with my weight gain. My blood pressure was low (104/60) but she seemed more than happy with my progress.

And now for the weekly shots - 

26 weeks side view

26 weeks plan view