27th March 2011 - 13 weeks

So, what a long week! Scan day on Tuesday, which didn't exactly go to plan. I had been really anxious about having the scan, mostly for vanity reasons - my tummy is very flabby and covered in old stretch marks from puberty. Basically it's not a pretty sight and the idea of a stranger squishing it around filled me with dread.

On arrival at the clinic in my local hospital I found the whole system confusing - having to check in at on place, then another, and sitting in three different waiting areas. On top of that I had missed part of a form in my blue book which required my signature - the lady dealing with me was not impressed and made me feel like an idiot. So I was holding back the tears waiting outside the room. I was with the hubby who was a bit bemused by my reaction as he was just excited to see the baby of course. By the time it was my turn I was led into the room to be introduced to the back of the sonographer, who didn't even bother to turn around and say hello. It was a man, which added to my anxiety.

Once on the bed the angry lady (not sure if she was a nurse) told me off again for not pulling my leggings down far enough at the back - why did they need to be half way down my bottom?! More embarrassment. Then the sonographer walked around the curtain and began. It didn't take long, after a minute of very painful jabs with the scanner and alot of discomfort we had seen fleeting images of the baby - so much bigger than our earlier scan, much more babylike. He/she even did a little wriggle, but this magical moment was cut short when the sonographer decided the image wasn't clear enough, possibly because I hadn't drunk enough water and that I need to come back next week.

He also said that I may need a TV scan but he didn't have time to do one as other patients had arrived late. He did manage to date me - my due date has now moved to September 29th. I expected it to be tricky to see things so I wasn't overly surprised, but I did get the feeling that he didn't really try very hard and my weight was a good reason to cut the appointment short so he could get back on schedule. Might be wrong, but I generally left feeling quite traumatised by the whole experience, and a little emotional.

So now I have to go back next Wednesday as I have an appointment with a consultant so they have booked my scan for just before that. But since this all happened there have been further developments. I woke up early Friday morning, not really feeling any different than I usually do and of course needed to visit the loo, but I discovered that I was spotting. The first wipe was light pink, I called out to my husband who woke up with a jolt. It felt surreal. I had no pain, and the spotting was very light, but I checked out my books to see what to do. After getting washed and dressed I checked again and it was now a brown discharge, which reassured me - I don't know why, just seemed less scary than pink blood.

After an hour of trying I finally got through to the Midwives call centre and was told by the lady who answered the phone that my Midwife was on call and even so she wouldn't be able to help, so I needed to see my GP. Luckily I managed to get an appointment for that afternoon. I was feeling quite calm strangely enough, telling myself that this was very common, the bleeding had stopped and I had no pain, so there was nothing to panic about. I saw a junior doctor (I never seem to see the same doctor twice at my surgery!), but she was very lovely, read all of my notes thoroughly and really tried to allay my fears. After taking my pulse and blood pressure she then felt my tummy and told me that she wasn't worrying, so I needn't but to be on the safe side I should have a scan as soon as possible.

She arranged the scan for first thing Monday morning, so now I just have to wait. I've not had any bleeding since Friday and feel ok. I wonder whether if something was wrong would I be able to tell? Then I worry that I'm not worrying enough! I just need to see their heart beating, then I can relax. Fingers crossed.

Here are my measurements for this week -

Bust  - 51.5 inches (no change)

Waist - 49 inches (-.05)

Hips - 56.5 (+0.5)

Weight - -1.2kg

Surprised I have lost weight, as apart from being sick in the morning (when there's nothing to bring up) I've kept most things down. I've even had three cheese baguettes for lunch this week - which are more than I normally have.

Symptoms

• Sickness - in the morning mostly
• My boobs have felt bigger and more sensitive this week (so am surprised they haven't grown)
• Waist is changing shape, and my top tyre feels bigger also.

And finally the weekly shots -

13 weeks plan view

13 weeks side view