11th October 2011 - 41 weeks

Late posting as usual - and still pregnant!!! I am now 41 + 3. How do I feel about this? Surprisingly calm, but mostly because I am delaying the pain. As much as I know I have a baby inside me, my son, my first child, I feel like I am avoiding the inevitable at the moment and am happy to put of D Day for as long as possible. I am very scared of the pain and how I will cope with it.

This fear has been elevated since visiting my consultant last week. She decided to perform a sweep - I was expecting this, and happy to go ahead - despite the embarrassment factor. I went with the Hubby, and glad I did as it was NOT a good experience. I knew it would be uncomfortable, what I didn't expect was for it to be one of the single most painful experiences of my life (so far). She brought in a Midwife for distraction purposes - which I thought was a joke at first. It wasn't, and she didn't distract me. She didn't really explain what she was going to do, in fact I think she thought the hit and run approach was best but it shocked the life out of me. At first it felt as if she were using a giant speculum with sharp bits on - but it was her hand. It was so roughly done - I'm sure it could have been less traumatic.

I was booked in for an induction date afterwards, and hardly remember anything the midwife said to me as I was in shock. I had to drive myself home afterwards as we had taken separate cars, I don't know how I did it. It took me a couple of days to get over it, and made me realise just how much pain I am in for. The sweep didn't work, even though I was 2cm dilated, so today I went back to my regular midwife and had another sweep - this hurt alot too - especially as she had sharp finger nails!! But I knew what to expect and we've tried everything else in the past week to oust this little fella. I really want to avoid being induced (I'm booked in for Thursday) as I've heard in can be even more painful than normal labour - but I just need to get him out now as I'm getting worried about him being in there too long, and everyone is getting really impatient - not to mention the husband - who thinks I am stalling!! Like I have a choice!!

Who knows - after the sweep this afternoon (still 2cm) things may happen tonight. And tomorrow is a full moon - which is also supposed to increase the delivery rate. Will miss my bump I think - especially as it is only a recent development. Won't miss the pain in my pelvis though and not being able to sleep on my front or back. I guess it all depends what happens at the birth - I may be in even more pain afterwards!!

Here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 52 inches (-0.5)

Waist - 52 inches (-0.5)

Hips - 56.5 inches (-0.5)

Weight - no change from last week 

Symptoms

• emotional (still!)
• random aches and pains - some sciatic pain in left hip
• dry lips
• some dizziness
• painful aching in my pelvic area - especially around the pubic bone
• heartburn
• crazy dreams

Here are the last shots (perhaps?) - 

41 weeks side view

41 weeks plan view

3rd October 2011 - 40 weeks

It's October!! And yes - no baby as of yet! My official due date was yesterday and like a trooper I made it to my friends wedding, lasted right to the end, and even had to drive home myself as I stupidly allowed the hubby to have more to drink! Was ok, although felt very tired the next day, probably also because it was 29 degrees and we went over to my Mums to help her pack for her move. Phew - it was a tiring few days - that included the day before the wedding where a last minute dash to Bluewater was required for accessories to my outfit!
Friends and family are getting a little impatient, so is the husband. But I'm not at the "just get him out" stage yet - would like a few calm days beforehand to chill out.
Trying to find a wedding outfit that I felt comfortable but nice in was interesting - luckily I discovered a dress I had bought about a year ago - it was just a dark blue jersey dress but has a pretty waistband of oversized pewter sequins to make it a bit dressier. So I teamed it with a metallic shrug, shoes and clutch bag, bought a fancy hairband fascinator and even if I do say so myself looked ok. I still didn't look pregnant to some people though, one lady, when she was told I was pregnant thought I wasn't due until February - when I said sheepishly - No I'm due tomorrow! It was a little awkward - but the husband said I was being over sensitive. When I showed my family the photos even my Mum said I didn't look pregnant. Think she thought she was being complementary.
Well it's a bit late now - I'm not suddenly going to develop the perfect bump, and my horrible wobbly bit underneath isn't going to disappear. So I'll just have to accept this and stop worrying about it so much! What I need to worry about is the labour!! Have bought a TENS machine and am hoping that it will be of use as a friend who had her baby yesterday said it was fantastic. Am seeing the consultant on Wednesday so may possibly discuss my options regarding induction - I think she wanted to check whether I was favourable - REALLY looking forward to that - NOT!! Anywho - am off out tonight for a meal (no curries) for possibly one of my last nights out for a while! More developments next week perhaps!!

Here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 52.5 inches (-1)

Waist - 54.5 inches (+1)

Hips - 57 inches (-0.5)

Weight - +0.3kg 

Symptoms

• emotional (still!)
• random aches and pains
• dry lips
• lack of appetite
• strong twinges and painful aching in my pelvic area - especially around the pubic bone
• heartburn at night if I eat too late

And now for the weekly shots -

40 weeks plan view

40 weeks side view

22nd September 2011 - 38 weeks

Another delayed post, sorry. Not sure where my time goes at the moment! Certainly have been keeping busy since going on Maternity Leave!

So what's been going on, well we went on the tour of the hospital this week. I'm going to the new Pembury Hospital in Tunbridge Wells. Its very modern and has the feeling of an international airport, rather than a hospital! The wards are all private rooms with ensuite shower or bathrooms, with most of the rooms having views of the local woodland - sounds idyllic. Not sure how much I will be appreciating the views during my stay there!

Night times have been hard lately. It's so painful now trying to sleep. I end up spending too long on each side - just trying to avoid flipping which is an awful feeling. Feels like my pelvis is going to snap. And what with the baby squashing my bladder painfully I rarely feel rested when I get up. Really hope this will all disappear once the baby arrives.

I know I must have sai it a million times but I still can't believe I will have a baby soon - it's going to be so surreal. Today I'm feeling a little more positive about everything, but I must admit I've had some bad days - feeling quite negative and very very emotional. I hate to put it all down to pregnancy hormones, but I guess they must have influence - helping to magnify the bad feelings. I know I need to make more of an effort to keep positive, it's really not fair on the baby. But easier said than done - plus I've always been prone to feeling sorry for myself.

On a positive note - a stranger realised I was pregnant last night! I was meeting up with the girls from my nct class at a local restaurant and the maitre d said I know which table you are here for and took me straight to the group - I felt normal for once!

Trying to kickstart my nesting instinct but really not getting in the mood - feeling a little lazy in general really, which doesn't help as there are still lots of things to do - nothing major, and nothing that can't wait - but everyone keeps telling me that life will be so hard and so different soon than I want to be as prepared as possible!

Will try and post earlier next week - unless I'm busy giving birth!!

Here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 52.5 inches (no change)

Waist - 52 inches (-1)

Hips - 55.5 inches (-2.5)

Weight - -0.1kg 

Symptoms

• emotional (more than usual!)
• periods of extreme tiredness
• sometimes feeling clammy and hot
• leg cramps
• strong twinges and painful aching in my pelvic area - especially around the pubic bone
• heartburn at night if I eat too late

And now for the weekly shots -

38 weeks side view

38 weeks plan view

12th September 2011 - 37 weeks

Really starting to feel heavily pregnant now! Had my 36 weeks growth scan last week, Bumpy is head down, facing to the back with his back on the right side of my belly and his feet and arms the other. Bottom is at the top! Glad he was in a normal position, and my placenta is high posterior too. They estimated his weight at 6lbs 15oz which is normal apparantly, but shocked me a little. Still wondering how he is fitting in there!

Actually enjoying my bump now as it is obvious to most people what's in there. Some still aren't sure, but I think I actually look pregnant now - what does everyone else think - here's a side shot of me in my polka dot nightie showing how most empire line tops and dresses hang from me now -

After my scan I saw one of the hospital midwives to check my BP, urine etc. All fine. Then next I saw one of the consultants. A different lady to who I normally see. Nice enough, but she decided to try to put the fear of god in me. She insisted that I meet with an anaesthetist so they can see whether I can be easily fitted with an epidural and I'm assuming to discuss the extra risks, not just with my weight, but with the Fragmin I am on. She felt she needed to tell me that ladies with a high BMI such as mine often have difficulty giving birth and often need help. I know the facts, and that the risks are slightly increased, and realise that she was trying to make me aware, but I could imagine her approach could easily petrify some women. My husband was quite taken aback by her scaremongering also. Just hope I can prove her wrong!

Don't think it will be much longer - each night I wonder whether tonight will be the night! Been pretty uncomfortable lately. Last night was terrible in particular. I had spent the day in London watching the cricket so the combination of lots of stairs, walking and sitting on a fold up plastic chair really took their toll when I was in bed. My whole pelvis was aching alot, and kept seizing up. To add to my woes every time I tried to move the backs of my thighs and my shins started to cramp. Every position was uncomfortable, even putting a cushion between my legs became too painful a task at times. I did manage some sleep but woke up to even more pain as everything had fixed, meaning a complicated and painful procedure of un-fixing myself (and then a trip to the loo!).

The NCT lady told me about the Pelvic Partnership (link) a Charity dedicated to informing women about PGP (Pelvic Girdle Pain) which is what I have discovered is the correct term rather than SPD as it covers the whole pelvis and not just the Pubis Symphysis. Until I had found this website I had assumed that this was all par for the course and I should just put up with it. But to the contrary, I shouldn't be fobbed off by health professionals and should actively demand/seek treatment for this. The treatment though involves being seen by a Chiropractor/Osteopath or Physiotherapist who can manipulate the affected areas to often bring substantial relief. Great news, only that due to my sheer embarrassment of the idea of stripping to my underwear and being wiggled around and will not be seeking this help. I know, I'm an idiot, but I just can't bear the humiliation - no matter how much pain I am in. Plus, I guess it's preparing me a little for the pain to come? If it persists after Bumpy gets here I may have to do something, but I'm hoping that it will improve after - and I have mentioned this in my birth plan so the midwives know that I cannot swing my legs around as easily as most and get fixed if I stay in one position too long.

Just had a thought - this time next week he could be here! Have been talking to him lately to tell him about the outside world, and how everyone is looking forward to seeing him. I think he must have the hiccups at the moment, as his movements are too regular to be normal kicks. Have noticed this more and more in the past couple weeks. Have been the checking the times to see when he does this as some people say that when their babies arrive they sometimes still have hiccups at the same times! It's also supposed to be a sign of a mature respiratory system.

I guess most women reach this stage where you go from "Oh I have plenty of time til the baby arrives" and "Oh my god he could arrive any day now!" It's a funny kind of calm panic. I'm still not as prepared as I would like to be - I have a long list of cleaning duties still to do - and still cannot find something to give birth in - I need to have something I will feel feminine in, that will cover any rude bits (even when bending over) and will be cool and comfortable. Easier said than done it seems!

Need to take more photos of the nursery and all of his bits and bobs - he has so many cute things now. My dearest friend made him a quilt with his name embroidered on it (surname only) - I cried when she gave it to me as it was so pretty and made with so much love. Hopefully I will find time between now and then to take photos so I can upload them on here. Unless I am busy in other ways!!!

Here are my measurements for the week -

Bust - 52.5 inches (+0.5)

Waist - 53 inches (-1.5)

Hips - 57.5 inches (-0.5)

Weight - +0.4kg 

Symptoms

• shooting pains (up there)
• been sick a little more lately - no room in my tummy anymore!
• emotional (more than usual!)
• periods of extreme tiredness
• sometimes feeling clammy and hot
• leg cramps
• bleeding gums (had this since the start really but don't know whether I've mentioned it before)
• strong twinges and painful aching in my pelvic area - especially around the pubic bone
• heartburn at night if I eat too late

And now for the weekly shots -

37 weeks plan view

37 weeks side view

20th March 2011 - 12 weeks

This week I have started to feel uncomfortable. I've suffered in the past with hip pain, especially on my right hand side. And for the last few nights I guess as things have been shifting around in there, I have been in some discomfort and on occasion reasonable pain.

Friday night was the worst. I woke up in a panic as the whole right side from my back all the way through me was in some kind of spasm. I had been sleeping on my back for too long - which I know I shouldn't do, but when you are asleep there isn't much you can do! Luckily, naturally I sleep on my left, the best side, but I still need to flip around as everything aches if you stay still for too long. After getting up, going to the loo, having a drink and finally getting back into bed the strong pain subsided, but left me feeling a little battered and very apprehensive of what further pain is yet to come!

I've tried not to think too much about giving birth, but now I have that little niggle in the bak of my head, and although I'd like to think I have a reasonable pain threshold, in actuality I worry that I will be a big wuss! I also worry that I may neve get a good nights sleep again, as I'm only going to get bigger now and once the baby is here they'll be even more reasons not to sleep!

I've decided to buy a body support pillow as scrunched up duvet and an old pillow just aren't helping, will pick it up tomorrow night - so wish me luck that it helps!

My tummy has changed alot this week. From having a small hardness amongst the squidge I now have a small pooch which feels firm and round. Still can't really see anything with clothes on, but there is definite expansion! Just checked the measurements I took this morning and amazingly there's no real change - have put on a couple pounds, but my diet this week has been a bit rubbish and I haven't thrown up as much either.

Next week I'll be able to update you on the scan which is on Tuesday. We will also be telling some more friends on Saturday - not sure how they'll react - especially when one of them realises I am due near their wedding day!

Here are my measurements for this week -

Bust  - 51.5 inches (no change)

Waist - 49.5 inches (+.05)

Hips - 56 (no change)

Weight - +0.9kg

Surprised there isn't a greater change - really feel alot bigger and heavier this week.

Symptoms

• Hip Pain
• Backache
• Mild Headaches - these seem to be getting better
• Mild Queasiness
• Rounder firmer tummy - just below belly button

And finally the weekly shots -

12 weeks side view

12 weeks plan view

13th March 2011 - 11 weeks

Can't believe I'm in my Eleventh week already - it scares the life out of me when I think I'm now more than a quarter the way through. The main development this week is that I can now feel a proper bump. A lovely round ball below my belly button. Nothing to see yet though as it's nestled in with the flubber, but every morning now it seems to be just that little bit bigger.

The week didn't start off too well though as apart from dealing with jetlag I had a couple bad days of morning sickness, followed by extreme tiredness for the whole week. I've put this down to the growth spurt. My diet this week hasn't been great either, ate a whole packet of chocolate fingers on Sunday, then pizza and pancakes on Tuesday, and topped it all off with Fish n Chips Friday night. But still despite all of this I have lost a little weight.

Not sure if I've mentioned already but I have a date for my 12 week scan, it's on the 22nd March, followed a few days later by an appointment with a Consultant. Not quite sure what the Consultant appointment will be for - whether it will be about my weight or my blood clotting. But I'm more nervous about the scan. As much as I can't wait to see Bumpy on the screen I am dreading exposing my flubber and having it squished about and possibly commented upon. Worse still it will interfere with the scan and leave me feeling like some kind of freak rather than an expectant mum. I'm really trying not to worry too much about it, but it's something I'm finding hard to ignore and wish I could get over it and just think about the baby side of things.

Still yet to tell any more people. Hubby wants to wait as long as possible, I'm not sure. Although I have a feeling that I could probably hide it for longer than most women I still want to be open about it as I find it really hard to not spill the beans or make it obvious.

The whole feeling I have at the moment that the reality of having a baby is on hold, until we have the scan and everybody knows. I start to look at pushchairs and other things but it doesn't seem real. I guess it's quite normal to feel this way at this stage - before I know it I will be up to my eyes in nappies and poop!

Here are my measurements for this week -

Bust  - 51.5 inches (no change)

Waist - 49 inches (-.05)

Hips - 56 (no change)

Weight - -0.4kg

Not a great deal of change despite the bump appearing! Wonder if I have lost more weight as surely the baby and fluid weight must have increased this week? Hard to tell I guess.

Symptoms

• queasiness - two bad days at the beginning of the week but felt much better second half
• headaches - seem to have almost a constant underlying headache these days
• emotional
• tiredness - but waking up early
• Solid bump appearing! Yay!

And finally the weekly shots -

11 weeks side view

11 weeks plan view

11th February 2011 - 6.5 weeks

Well I've had a pretty eventful week!

Telling the family went well. Everyone was over the moon. My Mum was a little shocked as I think she had written me off as some kind of crazy cat career woman! I had a very long day on Monday driving over 350 miles in one day as well as walking around a giant trade fair, all with a very stiff neck which I have strangely developed.

Then then next day I started to feel unwell. I had eaten some cashew nuts from my Graze box and started to feel a little queasy. I also felt very hot and generally a bit dodgy. I have a friend at work who knows I am pregnant and I think she raised suspicions of a co-worker by bringing me a glass of flat coke whilst I was in the ladies loo. I really don't want any rumours rushing around the office just yet. I was sick, but still didn't feel much better. I lasted until after lunch then I just had to give up and go home. I was getting the all too familiar feeling of tonsillitis which I have suffered with for years to varying degrees or another.

So I then spent the next day and a half in bed. Unable to take anything apart from one paracetamol every 8 hours. Normally I would dose myself up with ibuprofen or antibiotics but this time I had to ride it out. I was running a temperature which I knew could become dangerous if it got too high so my trusty ear thermometer was very well utilised to keep a check on it. I was also losing a lot of fluid so I tried to drink enough water as possible but it made me feel so queasy. I made the mistake of looking online about the dangers of running a temperature when pregnant, never a good idea when you feel so bad already!

But today I am feeling better and went back to work, I still have a really stiff neck which is really bugging me - not sure if this is in any way pregnancy related too? Hmmm. My mood was lifted also as today was the day of my second scan. I had felt really numb all week after the non-event last Saturday so I was trying to prepare myself for the worst. Luckily I had a different lady doing the scan, and she was very lovely, professional and skilled. Straight away she picked up a clear black oval with a squidgy looking prawn inside! It all happened so quickly it took me by surprise - and yes I shed a tear. I was so relieved!

Apparently I have a tilted uterus which means I am a little hard to scan. She also dated me at 6.5 weeks , not 7 weeks as I had thought, (the baby measured 6.5mm). She asked me again about my dates, it must not make sense somehow! The sonographer pointed out a very feint flickering which was the heart - to be honest it was really hard to see. I also saw my cyst on my left ovary which was still around 3.5cm - much clearer to see than the baby! She also pointed out that I have some fluid around my hip - I have suffered with pain in my hips, especially my right hip for a few years now. Have had xrays but they were inconclusive so generally I dose myself up ibuprofen to dull the pain - another thing I will have to grin and bear for the next 8 months. I do worry that later on this will become an issue - but keeping my fingers crossed for now.

So back to the baby! Yes so it is confirmed I have a baby in my belly! Yay! Blimey!!!

I will update my stats tomorrow when I weigh and measure myself tomorrow. I normally do this on a Sunday but I am flying off to Frankfurt for another trade show very early Sunday morning.

I will also post a photo of the scan as soon as possible.